ooc: wanted to do better. under the weaher. wanted to avoid no showing. i winged it.
Jeffrey Alexander Blog.
Subject: My Return.... and stuff.Ahem.
I said... A..... HEM!
To all trillions of fans out therr, cause yall like the way I do it right thur... RIGHT THUR... how you doing this evening? Good? Excellent. Your boi Jeffrey Alexander is feeling like a trillion bucks, all day everyday. Every god damn day is a good one for me. I wake up. Take a shower. Some ring rat shows up at my front door. I spend one minute tryna dig her out, the next 15 minutes I’m putting it in her mouth. Kick her back on the street. Not before I give her her five dollar tip. Head to the local clinic, under an assumed name of course, once they clear me of the next sexual trasmitted disease trying to kill your boy, I’m off to the races. I’m a busy man with a lifestyle yall can’t match up to. Not everybody can be Mr. Black Hollywood, Mr. All Night Long, Mr. Sexual Thrilla, I ain’t gonna hold it against you. Know one thang, homie.
I am the man that gets all the ladies in a frenzy..
Who do you think passed his Brother From Another Mother, Monica Lewinsky.
I did a lot more than stain her pretty blue dress.
There are adventures yall gotta wait for my book to read my confess.
Ladies and gentleman, boys girls, bow down to the return of the... MOST CELEBRATED ENTERTAINER IN THE WORLD...
Jeffrey. LALALALALA. ALEXANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN... DER.
Your boi has been asked why Second City Wrasslin. I coulda came outta retirement, signed up to a bigger company than Second City Wrassling. Why would a Mega Star of my stature link up with a company that host its pay per views on the internet? iPPVs? That supposed to be the wave of the future? Let me guess, we streaming this bad boy for $9.99? In my real line of work, don’t matter how much the independent scene is glorified for staying true to the art, hate on Amazing Spider Man 2, moan about the ending sucking ass , at the end of the day homie it’s all about making them dollar dollar bills yall. Not knocking yall product, Second City Wasslin do got some decent talented wrasslers, none of them are mega stars like me. None of them got the charisma I do. None of them can carry a program like I do. Why am I here? I am a humanitarian, homie. I want to see this small mom and pop store become Target. TJ Max. Or we can aspire higher than that, the best wrassling is not seen at the equivalent of a local operation.
Yall ain’t gonna achieve superstardom mooching off Pro Wrestling X talent. Yeah, your boi paid attention to that place. Signed some of their cast offs, do we gotta PWX 2.0 vibe going here homie. That’s cool, for now. What dem cast offs don’t realize they just don’t got what it takes to elevate a mom and pop deli like Second City Wrasslin to the place it needs to be. I ain’t planning staying long. I’m not a wrasslin lifer. I am not going to compete five years from now. I’m here to offer what none of you can, bringing exposure to this mom and pop deli.
I can bring in investors. I can bring in bigger higher profile sponsors. I can get our company on pay per view, imagine that, pay per view. Not iPPV where if some poor slob out there forgot this was his weekly jerk off session, tomorrow he will tune into Seven Circle. Really now, Seventh Circle. Who in their right minds want to purchase a pay per... excuse me, iPPV named after the seventh circle of hell from Dante’s Inferno. Not marketable. Unless you want your audience to consist of hardcore enthusiast? That’s why yall need me. I’m a businessman, the man with the plan, I can elevate, make this company a trillion times more entertaining than it is right now. Yall just gotta trust me, homie. Ride the Black Hollywood Train to the promised land.
Go ahead, have your little Pro Wrasslin X reunion show in the main event of this illy named I Pay Per View, I will give all my people out there the real. I was informed I am supposed to take part in an exhibition match. Let me get this right. Yall couldn’t find a real match for me to participate in? An exhibition? My first match in four years is an exhibition match, color me insulted. I wasn’t expecting a title match. I agree, my eventual reign as 2CW Champion should mirror that of a conquering hero fighting all dragons, monsters, assassins to reach the big bad boss to slay for the ultimate price. What your boii did not expect was an exhibition match. I feel cheated. My fans, trillions of fans feel cheated all around the world. I should sit out this match via protest. Find me a bigger name star. Heck, find me a match worth my time. My time is valuable. I’m breaking out in hives here. Can’t you see what you’re doing to me, and nah this wasn’t meant to be a bigger high profile match was made for me.
I got no effing clue with Tony Montana is.
Wait! His name is Tony Miranda?
From Galveston Island Wrestling?
He fresh off the boat?
I don’t know who this guy bee, he was inconsiderate enough not to allow the webmasters in the 2CW office post his bio on their website. I had to send my monkeys to dig up his GIW bio, probably hasn’t updated it in sometime, low and behold, this homeboy is from Chicago.
Personally, I don’t like Chicago. This city did my homeboy Bartman dead wrong. Bartman was the happiest, sweetest, innocent kid I know. One day your people Montana turned on him for an innocent mistake. Now Bartman is a fat obese alcoholic who don’t want to leave the house, he was my wingman at the clubs. Watching the ladies play with this hair was kinda adorable in a way. My wingman was taken from me, because of your cruel inconsiderate people in this gosh forsaken city. I may not know who the heck you are Montana, when I look into your beady little eyes, I will see an entire city that drove my homeboy Bartman to depression. The sparkle in his eyes are gone, because of your people you son of an itch.
Sorry. Jeffrey can be emotional sometime.
Bartman, I dedicate my systematic destruction of Montana to you. He’s gonna say hello to my little friend, my size 12 upside that beady little head of his. I will turn out his lights. Hopefully, next time yall book me in a match, it means something homie.
Peace. Out.